Losing a part of ourselves is painful, traumatic – and changes us forever.
One could say without exaggeration: it is a kind of rebirth.
A rebirth in which we must learn to live with grief, anger, and despair and still find new paths to walk. And sometimes, on those paths, we discover something that was never part of us before.
Something that awakens within us.
Something that helps us move forward.
Amina Romas from Poland has shared a story with us that speaks precisely of these things:
Anger, sorrow, a new beginning and a new companion: Braille.
Although the story is fictional, Amina Romas has woven aspects of her own life into it, with striking honesty and emotional depth.
We thank Amina Romas for her story and wish her that she may always find refuge in the language of dots,
a place that gives her the strength to keep moving forward.
A New Life
Amina Romas
14 years old
I used to be just like another boy. Exactly, I used to be because I am not just like another boy anymore. I was almost ten years old when my life has changed. I was sitting in my room, playing Fortnite and listening to my favourite playlist. At that time, my parents were talking about something downstairs. I was going to celebrate my birthday the next day. Then, my mum called me for supper, so I went there. I ate, I put my plate back, and I returned to my room in order to read a book. I do not know when I fell asleep when I was reading. I know that my mum entered the room in order to turn the light off, and she took this book with her because there was no book when I woke up.
The next day, my parents and my sister woke me up. They ran into my room and they sang “Happy Birthday to You”. We took a common picture, and I received my first present – new headphones JBL. I have always dreamt about such headphones. Then, we went downstairs for breakfast, and we cut a birthday cake into pieces. We were sitting at the table for a while. After a certain time, my mum made me get dressed. I knew that they were planning an excursion. We always used to go away somewhere for my birthday. At 11 o’clock, we were close to our car. We hit the road. It was quite a long route. Suddenly, a car driving very fast appeared from nowhere. It was supposed to turn right, but it did not do so. It sped up and hit against our car. My mum was sitting behind, so that nothing happened to her, except for two things: some slivers hurt her hand, and she gave herself a bump on the forehead. My dad and I got hurt by broken glass on our faces, and slivers fell into my eyes. Additionally, I badly hit myself with my head against the distribution board, and I lost consciousness.
I woke up at a hospital because my bed did not resemble the one at home. Everything hurt me. My parents were sitting next to me.
– What happened? – I asked. I was surprised because I could not see my parents. I could only hear their worried voices saying that I woke up.
– – We had an accident, and you lost consciousness. And you had an operation and some tests. Slivers fell into your eye, and they damaged something. What’s more, the operation slightly worsened your sight.
– My dad dropped his head.
– – But how am I going to live now? How should I cope? How to find friends? Everyone is going to laugh at me.
– In my head, I had many thoughts, so many questions without answers.
– After a week, I left the hospital. Like a young child, I walked with my mum and I held her hand. My parents showed me the whole house again. I had to check everything out by touching things.
– – I must find a new school for you, – my mum said.
– – I don’t want to change my school! I want to stay there, although I know that I won’t cope anyway! – I shouted.
– – But you are strong and you will cope, – my mum comforted me.
– – Get off my back! – I shouted, and I ran into my room, slamming the door.
– Finally, my mum found a school for me. It was located close to us. It was a school for blind people. We went there. I was admitted. At first, a gentle lady showed me the boarding house and took me to my rom, so that I unpack my suitcase. Then, two more boys, with whom I was going to live, arrived at the school.
– – Are you new here? – one of them asked me.
– – Yes, I am,- I replied timidly.
– – I am Marcin, – he held his hand to me.
– – I am Jarek. Nice to meet you, – I replied.
– – I am Kacper, – the second boy condescended to say something.
– – Nice to meet you, – I murmured.
– – In general, why can’t you see? – I got interested in this issue.
– – My retina is detached, – Marcin replied.
– My optic nerves are atrophic, – Kacper said.
– And you? Why can’t you see?
– I have had an accident lately, and pieces of glass damaged my eyes, I answered.
– – Oh, crap! It must be sad to be able to see and to stop seeing suddenly. Now you have to learn everything once again, – Marcin said.
– I sighed sadly.
– Suddenly, we heard someone knocking at the door. A middle-aged lady came into our room.
– – Good morning, Jarek. My name is Małgosia, and I will teach you orientation and mobility, she introduced herself.
– – Please go with me. She gave me her hand.
– – I am not going anywhere! – I shouted. – I am not going to become one of these blind and helpless people! I don’t want to! – I shouted.
Finally, I went with her. We came into a small room, and we stood close to a wardrobe.
– Do you know how blind people move around on the street and in unknown areas? – Małgosia asked me.
– – They use some sticks, – I answered.
– – |This stick is called a white cane. We will select a suitable cane for you, and we will learn how to walk with it, – my teacher explained to me.
– She opened the wardrobe and took out the first cane, but it did not suit me. We tried out two more canes, only the fourth one suited me well.
– – Let’s go outside, – she held her hand to me again.
– – We use two techniques, – she started explaining to me, when we were outside.
– The first one is called constant contact technique. Then, the cane is precisely in constant contact with the sidewalk, and you sweep it to the left and to the right, – she showed me these movements.
– And there is also a two-point technique. On the left and on the right, you hit your cane against the sidewalk, – she helped me to do so again.
– And now let’s go for a walk, – she said.
So, I walked using a two-point technique.
– A larger sweep on the right, and on the left. Your hand in the middle, – she corrected me.
– Finally, we came back to the boarding house.
– – Good, our class has ended. Now we are going to hang your cane in the changing room. And you must sign it, – she warned me.
– – Good, – I answered.
– We did what she told us to do.
– – And now try and walk to your room, – she told me.
– I was slightly uncertain, but I went to my room.
– – Bye, – Małgosia said.
– – Bye, – I replied.
– After having supper and taking a bath, my first day at the new school was over. Boys explained to me how to use a mobile phone as a blind person. It was still hard for me, but I was successful.
– Then, in the morning, we went to school. I met my teachers there. At a moment, our Polish teacher came to me.
– – Good morning, Jarek! – she said.
– – Good morning, – I replied.
– – Listen, let’s meet during your fifth lesson. You have physical education, so you won’t lose anything. And we are going to learn the Braille alphabet.
– – No, I am not blind! I will write and learn normally! In general, I don’t know what I am doing here.
– – Be calm. I know that losing your sight is quite difficult, but you can live without seeing, – she said and she went away.
– In such a manner, my first month at the school passed. Finally, when I was looking at my classmates, I understood that the Braille alphabet was worth learning. So I asked Beata, and she agreed to teach me. She gave me a book for the first form, and I was learning to read and write. During the first lesson, I got to know the three first letters, and the same thing used to happen every week. I was writing slowly, but, following a year of studying, I was able to read my first book. I also discovered that our boarding house had a well-equipped library. I used to dislike reading, but books in Braille have become my treat now. Thanks to them, I was not thinking about my disability. Nevertheless, I have never accepted my sight loss. I also found out that it was possible to write in Braille using a phone. Learning everything came to me slowly, it took months, and even years. Although I had classes with a psychologist, and I coped somewhat with my life, I have never managed to accept my sight loss and my limits. Finally, I graduated from my school. I continued being blind. It is true that I felt sorry because I differed from everyone, but I knew that I had to cope, and that I was strong, just like my mum had told me once.
– I even started a family. We were really happy together. We used to go on holiday. My children used to help me to accomplish my daily duties.
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